Partners in Cream
by The Weakest Of Links
Summary: Roman meets his new partner, Neopolitan. Hijinks ensue. A series of Roman-and-Neo centric vignettes.
1. Chapter 1

"What do you mean 'watch her'?"

Cinder smiled at her subordinate's astonished reply.

"What does it sound like, Roman?" she replied smartly, reaching over and pushing her associate's hat over his eyes. The man growled despite his best efforts to keep his irritation internal.

"A waste of my time," the criminal shot back swiftly, adjusting his hat until its position satisfied him.

"She's a fully grown adult…" Roman said before glancing to Neo, who stood next to Cinder dutifully. Her head barely reached her bosses shoulders.

"…well…half grown adult, rather," Roman added thoughtfully. Neo didn't react, but Cinder seemed to be mildly amused at his joke. She gestured to the tiny girl beside her.

"Our new friend Neapolitan here can be a bit…" Cinder paused before grinning. "…unpredictable. Delightfully so, I find. Although I don't think you'll share that sentiment."

Roman frowned, but Cinder quickly cut off his objections as she exited the stolen cargo-filled warehouse.

"I'll be back in a few days or so," she called over her shoulder, swinging her hips on her walk out. Have fun you two!"

Her laughter echoed in the dark warehouse as she slammed the door shut behind her, leaving Neo and Roman alone together. Roman shook his head at the heavy door in dissatisfaction with his new 'job'.

"…Well, that was foreboding," he said briskly before turning to the subject of his inevitable misfortune. This was the first day that he had met her, and as such had no preconceived notions of the girl, other than that she obviously had some affinity crime or obedience, as well as some talent, given Cinder's selectiveness.

"So. Pipsqueak," he said flatly, angling his head down to condescend to her properly. "What's your shtick?"

The ice cream haired girl simply looked up at him and blinked unassumingly. Oddly, her right eye changed color. What had once been chocolate brown was strawberry pink. Roman only had time to raise an eyebrow in mild surprise before Neapolitan smirked and disappeared in a blinding white flash of light.

Roman was left squinting tightly, spots of light in what little vision he was left with. He reached up and rubbed his eyes with an unamused frown. When his vision cleared, he stared at the spot that Neapolitan had been standing. Eventually, he reached up, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a sigh.

"Why do I always get the weird ones?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you kidding me?!"

Neopolitan took a peek at Roman, the motion of her head popping up reminding the latter of a gopher popping out of it's hole. Except in the scenario, the hole was an industrial crate that Neopolitan had been hiding in for the past half hour, giggling to herself as Roman ambled around, looking for her fruitlessly.

"You were in there this whole time?" Roman grimaced, gesturing to his new partner with his cane. Neo simply nodded her head up and down, smiling to herself proudly.

Roman slowly began to smile, with Neo's smile diminishing at the sight of his.

"You do know what those boxes are full of…right?" Roman asked rhetorically. Neopolitan looked down at the stacked boxes inside the crate that she had been sitting on for a half hour, realizing that she had absolutely no idea what they contained; she'd never bothered to check.

Looking back up at Roman, she tilted her head a small frown on her face.

"It's full of unprocessed dust crystals," Roman said nonchalantly. "You know, dust. Colorful, powerful, and _explosive_ , among other things.

Neopolitan's eyes widened as the reticule on the end of Roman's cane popped up, noticing for the first time that what she thought was gesturing was actually aiming, as well as that Roman was standing a curiously long distance away from the crate.

"Hey, here's a random and completely hypothetical question," Roman said with mock innocence. "What would take longer: for an annoying midget to teleport out of a crate, or for my finger to pull a trigger? In my honest opinion, I'd bet on the finger."

Neopoltian stared at Roman unblinkingly for a moment of silence before slowly pulling her head back down into the crate. Roman smirked and shrugged to himself.. It's not as if Cinder couldn't just find him a new partner. He pulled the trigger, a flare blasting its way out of his cane and directly into the crate.

But, instead of exploding in a spectacular fireball of badassery, the crate completely shattered into fragments of glass which blasted back into the wall before turning to dust.

Roman blinked uncomprehendingly at the sight. He was then nearly scared half to death when something tapped his shoulder. He turned around, twisting his head left and right to see what had touched him before he was poked in the stomach, prompting him to look down.

Neopolitan made eye contact with him silently, her trademark smirk plastered onto her face. She grew uncomfortable as Roman didn't burst out in anger, or throw a fit, but instead grabbed her shoulders and stared at her.

"You can teleport _and_ create illusions?" Roman asked seriously, eyes wide. Neopolitan paused, confused by his reaction, then nodded slowly. Roman suddenly smiled widely and embraced Neopolitan roughly, nearly crushing her tiny body. He barely noticed as she struggled and kicked at him; he was too happy.

"Oh man, we're going to rob _so_ many people!"


	3. Chapter 3

Neopolitan's eyes flew open at the sound of a map being slammed on her bedside table.

"Rise and shine, squirt!"

They narrowed the sight of her jubilant aggressor. Grumbling to herself, she turned over in bed to face the wall.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that." Roman glanced over at the clock hanging on the makeshift bedroom's wall. "I told you yesterday: midafternoon is the best time to rob a bank. Security guards will be tired, the tellers will just want to get it over with so they can get off shift, and there's be a minimum amount of people coming and going. The less need for crowd control, the bett-"

Roman quickly ducked; a lobbed pillow flew over his head, narrowly missing him.

"Alright, good, you're already in the mood for violence." Roman clapped his hands and rubbed them together menacingly. "So, are you going to get up, or do I have to get you up?"

Silence.

Roman leaned forwards, intent on grabbing Neapolitans shoulder and yanking her off the bed, but just as he began to close in on her, he was blinded by a flash of light. Surprised, he lost his balance and fell forwards onto the recently emptied bed.

His annoyed groan was muffled by the pillow he had fallen face first onto. His eyes grew wide as he felt a petite knee being ground into his back and his bright orange hair being pulled backwards, yanking his head off of the pillow. His aggressor leaned forwards and growled into his ear.

"N-Neat trick, tiny," Roman laughed nervously. His smile transformed into a grimace as Neopolitan pulled his head even further back. Not that it stopped him from spewing his usual sass.

"I-I get it, you're the kind of girl that r-really, _really_ needs her beauty sleep. L-Let me tell you, I could tell that from when I first laid eyes on you."

Roman could practically feel the worldly pressure Neopolitans eyes were exerting on the back of his head, but could most definitely feel her knee practically bending his spine, and her fingers straining his stylish do. Neo yanked back to the point where Romans jaw felt like it was going to be pulled off of his neck.

But Roman couldn't resist one more jibe.

"Agh…y-you know what…I'm familiar with plenty of girls, but you're…you're the first _quiet_ dominatrix I've ever-"

And that was the last thing Roman Torchwitch said before his snarky ass was flip-kicked out of a two story warehouse window.


End file.
